Sex partner in york

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Those you do see are predominantly from local businesses promoting local services. These adverts enable local businesses to get in front of their target audience — the local community. It is important that we continue to promote these adverts as our local businesses need as much support as possible during these challenging times. Our letter writer tells our agony aunt that her boyfriend of 12 years just visits her for sex and asks will he ever change?

I've been seeing this guy for nearly 12 years, he lives a distance from me and I try to see him whenever I can get time booked off work. He prefers to travel to me, I've only been to his house a handful of times.

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When I do visit him, it's odd, he doesn't seem to have any friends and I've never met his family. He doesn't really want to take me out anywhere, when he comes over here he just wants to have sex. He thinks about me at Christmas and birthdays but gets me really practical gifts - this Valentine's day Sex partner in york a new frying pan!

He doesn't think about me when we do go out, it's almost like he doesn't get that I'm there half the time. In spite of all this, I love him and I want to know how to change him or how to have a future with him.

Kirsten replies: Ooh there's quite a lot going on here. Twelve years is a long time to be in a relationship that sounds like it isn't meeting your needs. I can hear that you love him, however it does make me wonder why you have stayed with him for so long.

It sounds like he isn't emotionally available enough for you and makes me wonder if you have a pattern of being with people that aren't able to meet your needs in some way? If you look back through your ificant relationships - are there any patterns that match this in some way? I know people reading this might be wondering if he is married and I have to say, that did cross my mind, there are a few red flags that suggest he isn't being completely open with you about some areas of his life.

The fact that he isn't willing to think or talk about the future and that after such a long period of time together, he isn't able to articulate what he feels, does worry me. That said, there are different personality and neurodevelopmental types that might be worth exploring more in your own reading and could help you understand him from a different perspective.

An obvious question would be to ask if you have told him how you feel?

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By carrying on in the relationship you are saying to him that this way of being with you is ok. It might be that you need to get really explicit about what you need changing. Having him just pop over for sex doesn't really sit well with me - if you were happy with the arrangement that's one thing, however it sounds like you might be feeling a bit used and are wanting an emotional intimacy as well. It might be a cultural or generational thing - it might be that he doesn't know how to open up in the ways you need.

You do have some choice in how you want this to play out. I'd like to ask you what you want from Sex partner in york relationship, what things you are prepared to compromise on or keep compromising on and what things are 'no gos' that you need him to stop? I understand you want to change him - and I don't want to trot out all the old "a leopard doesn't change its spots" type sayings If, when you try to be really explicit with him about what you want to change, nothing changes, then it might be that change, in the way you want it, is not be possible. I don't have an idea of how old you are but if you think about what you want for the next phase of your life - is this it?

It might be enough for you if you really do love him.

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Part of me however suspects you might be delaying having to make a really difficult choice and that maybe, deep down, you already know what you need to do. We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.

Last Updated:. My boyfriend of 12 years only visits me for sex" Dear Kirsten, I've been seeing this guy for nearly 12 years, he lives a distance from me and I try to see him whenever I can get time booked off work. I know I love him but I'm not sure how he feels about me.

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Sex partner in york

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